When Angels Sing
by Catheryne
Summary: Chuck/Blair. For three years he had been gone, and he returned to another world. In this alien planet, she’d fallen in love with someone he loved; and he had loved them enough to have stepped aside.
1. Chapter 1

When Angels Sing

Pairing: Chuck/Blair

Summary: For three years he had been gone, and he returned to another world. In this alien planet, she'd fallen in love with someone he loved; and he had loved them enough to have stepped aside.

Blair moved around the counter and handed the glass to her husband, who thanked her with a moist kiss on her cheek. She smiled up at him, then excused herself politely, nodding at the man who Nate had been discussing their finances with. She turned around and walked back to the kitchen, then wiped her palm over the moist trace of her husband's kiss. At the sight, Blair stopped at the entry way.

There he was, sipping a glass of scotch, watching her from behind hooded eyes.

"Look at me, Blair."

She stiffened at the sound of his voice. His voice was one of those things she remembered late at night in her bed, while another man's body pressed against her back and she still felt so cold. His voice washed over her, and Blair closed her eyes and breathed deeply as if she could inhale his voice until it pumped through her veins and she would never do without it.

Blair reached for a glass of water and sipped at it.

"You can't do it, can you?" he demanded.

She took deep calming breaths. Blair went over to the sink to place her glass there. The help would arrive soon, and they would wash the glass and place it back in its place. It wasn't as if it was dirty, but Blair wanted it washed anyway. There might be a faint trace of her lipgloss on the rim, and that was just disgusting. Blair waited for him to move aside, to allow her space to pass. "I need to get this washed," she murmured, addressing him for the first time.

"It's perfectly clean," he whispered

He ran his fingers through his hair. "Why won't you talk to me?"

She refused to meet his gaze. "Let me go," she whispered.

His nostrils flared. He gently took his hands off her. Blair moved past him, and the space he gave her was so narrow that her body pressed against him for a few brief moments. "It's not that easy." He looked up and saw that her eyes regarded him sadly.

Once upon a time, eight years ago to be exact, he told her, in front of dozens of people, that true love meant never giving up. But over the years they had faltered and believed that they'd forgotten that speech. For three years he had been gone, and he returned to another world. In this 

alien planet, she'd fallen in love with someone he loved; and he had loved them enough to have stepped aside.

"It's not our fault," he told her, but they both knew that it was.

_i "You can still back out," he whispered into her ear._

_Blair glared at him from under her veil as she fitted her wedding dress."Last night was a mistake," she growled. "I cannot believe you, Chuck. You just had to come back to be a best man and you already seduced me."_

"_Maybe that should give you a clue. Don't marry Nathaniel, Blair. You're just being unfair to him."_

"_Do you know what kind of scandal that's going to make? I'm getting married tomorrow!"/i_

"I'm saying it now," he choked out. "I'm still in love with you." He had loved her enough that as suddenly as he'd returned, he was gone again. She blinked against the stinging pain in her eyes. That allowed the tears to slide down her cheeks. He caught one with his finger and brought it to his lips. "I hate seeing you cry."

Blair turned her face away, because the sensation of his skin on hers killed her. "I won't do it to him again."

_iHe bent down and kissed the crook of her neck. His hand made its way to her breast and cupped, massaging it until her nipple was peaked. He backed her towards the window. They were soon engulfed by the thick curtains until they were almost invisible if not for their frantic motions._

"_Should we really be doing this?"_

"_He's not here."_

_Blair arched her back and moaned when she felt his hot lips right on the pulse under her ear. Chuck pushed her panties aside, not even bothering to take them off of her. Blair returned the frantic motion by pushing his pants down on his hips._

"_Blair." He hesitated, and looked up into her eyes. She nodded to say it was okay and to his brain, it made it sound as if it really would be fine. He intertwined his fingers with hers and held on, feeling the diamond of her engagement ring cutting into his flesh. He drove home. She gasped and he squeezed his eyes tightly, his hips moving in a frantic rhythm. _

"_Chuck, more," she gasped. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, rest her hands on his shoulders and rub the tension that she felt. Instead, his hands were tight as they clutched hers and pressed them against the moist glass. The edges of her vision blacked and she released so _

_violently she shuddered and screamed quietly, melting against the window, against his body, liquefied._

_As she sagged against him, Chuck released her hand and felt it go around his back, clutching at him, her nails sliding against the sweat. With his free hand he reached for her other thigh and placed her leg around his waist. With the new depth, he felt her grow tighter and even slicker. He rested his forehead against the cool window and pounded faster and heavier. /i_

When she passed by him again, he closed his eyes and reveled in her scent. She heard him suck his breath at that exact moment when their bodies mashed together so completely, so tightly. Her blood pumped in her temples then, and her heightened awareness of her entire body blackened her sight. They were pressed together only for that millisecond, but it was enough to send her temperature to fever pitch, to suck the strength from her limbs. And then he closed his arms around her.

"Don't," she whispered.

"Please," was his response.

And for a long moment, they held on to each other in the secret of the kitchen, while her husband laughed and conversed in the other room. Her face pressed into his chest, his nose buried in her hair, they stood in the quiet.

"Blair!" Nate's voice floated to her ears amidst the pulsing thunder of her heart. Nate appeared in the doorway with a screaming toddler in his arms. The nanny stood right behind him. Nate paused and just looked at them, at the small distance between their bodies, his best friend's slow, heavy, calming breathing and his wife's red-rimmed eyes. Chuck saw Nate's throat working. Then Nate blinked, and he regarded them cheerfully. "Look what happened to our angel, Blair."

She stiffly walked over to take the crying baby from Nate. "Did she disturb your deal?"

Nate leaned down and placed a kiss on his wife's temple, then looked down fondly at mother and daughter. "Not possible. But I thought she might want her mom." Nate watched Chuck carefully, before turning around and going back to the living room.

Chuck walked over to her and watched as the child screamed, and Blair rubbed calming circles on her back. The child relaxed against Blair's chest, still sniffling. She looked up at him, and saw him staring at them in wonder. Blair held the baby to him. "Hold her for me."

And when he did, tears rose in her eyes. It was awkward, risky, and absolute perfection. Even her daughter must have felt how right it was, because even the untutored rocking calmed her and the baby slept. She whispered for the nanny to leave.

"Nate's right. She's an angel. I couldn't survive every day without her."

"Leave with me," he pleaded. "We'll be a family."

Temptation whispered into her ear, but she could only say, "He loves me."

"What do you think I feel about you?" he demanded. "What do you think you feel about me?"

"I-" she gasped, "I don't."

"Don't lie," he whispered softly into her ear.

Blair took the baby back from him. Chuck felt the distinct emptiness of his arms without the child. "Please," she said, "let go."

"Don't you think I've tried? I've been trying since that night."

Blair winced and looked away, unwilling to listen to him mention that she had spent her wedding night with him. She never learned. She went over to the stairs and felt him following closely behind. Blair entered the baby's room and placed her in the bed.

"I just can't," he admitted, standing behind her so close he could see her hair moving with his every breath.

Blair turned around. She placed her hands on his chest, patted the lapels of his shirt, then sighed. Blair glanced at the sleeping baby, then back up into his eyes. She pulled him down, and hungrily he took her lips. Tears seeped out of her closed eyelids as she drank in the taste of him. She was starving for him. His tongue meeting hers sent an electric surge through his veins. Instead of the rough plunging he had been used to, theirs melded together in a no less tumultuous way. It was a fierce kiss, but not brutal, ardent, yet calm. "Why?" she asked, when they were staring at each other, gasping in the aftermath.

"I don't know."

Her hand rose to cup his cheek, and he immediately turned his face to kiss her palm.

She looked up at him with liquid eyes and pale, pale lips. "I can't go."

He looked at her unblinking, his breathing steady. His eyes. Always, his stare. It was that look that sent her into his arms long ago, that same look that had her betraying Nate for the umpteenth time.

She turned her face away. Blair did not see him leave the room. She closed her eyes and sat on the carpet by her daughter's bed. And then she was being enveloped into a warm embrace. She opened her eyes and found herself in her husband's arms.

"Did you tell him?" he asked gently.

Blair clutched at Nate's shoulders as she shook her head. "He doesn't need to know."

"It can work, Blair."

She took a deep breath. When Bart Bass had told them that he was sending back for Chuck, she should have expected him. It was her own fault that she hadn't been prepared to face him.

"He deserves to know," Nate told her.

"I'm not putting him through that again. You saw him then, Nate. And that was his mother. What do you think he's going to do when it's—"

The baby was crying now. Nate stood up and picked up the dark-haired little girl and rocked her against his body. He extended a hand to help Blair up.

Blair took Nate's hand and pulled herself up. She placed a hand on her daughter's back.

"He deserves to be with her no matter how long it's gonna be for." He pushed one lock of her hair behind her ear. "Sooner or later, he's going to notice. You can't use me as your reason forever."

"Nate, I've done everything else perfectly," she said, her voice full of her plea.

i _"Nate, Nate, Nate!" she cried, grasping at his jacket when he turned to leave. _

_He stopped, turned around and looked down at Blair Waldorf. She did not look like Blair, nor did she sound like Blair. His ex-fiance looked up at him in tears, her mascara running down her cheeks. She had stuck a knife in his gut on the day they were supposed to get married, and now… But just like he could not help it then, he was still ever going to be hers._

"_Please, Nate."_

"_Have you tried calling him?" he asked calmly. She nodded furiously. "What did his father say?"  
_

"_Nobody knows where he is."_

_And for all the mature posturing she had done, she was still a little girl scared most of all by the humiliation of having her stellar reputation trampled. "Blair, you live in the twenty-first century. This isn't going to destroy you."_

_And she sobbed, then covered her face with her trembling hands. "I know that I don't have the right to ask."_

"_You left me at the altar," he stated, reminding her of the reason why he couldn't—and shouldn't—agree._

"_I'm so sorry." And then she looked up at him again, her eyes raw, her cheeks flushed, her lips with a tinge of blue. "I swear, Nate, if you do this for me, I will be everything you want to be. I'll be perfect. I'll never fight with you. I won't say a word if you have another woman on the side. You can use all my money for any business you need to use it for. I'll support you in every way possible," she enumerated desperately. "Marry me."_

_She reminded him of a child promising to be good. Nate shook his head and wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Don't cry."_

"_Will you do it, Nate? I'll love you forever," she promised._

_Nate buried his face in her ear and took a deep breath. Chuck was bound to show up soon. He would never abandon Blair like this, without a word, without a note. Chuck couldn't—not after getting Blair Waldorf to break her engagement on her wedding day. _

_She pulled away from him suddenly and ran towards the bathroom. He heard the dry heaving from the bedroom. /i_

Nate held the baby closer to him, then smiled down at her upon seeing that the child was blinking up at him. "I love you, Lottie," he said, greeting the little girl and assuring her that nothing was amiss. He returned his attention to Blair, and her teary doe eyes. "I can't live like this anymore, Blair. Especially not now that he's back."

Blair reached for her daughter and held her close, then turned her back on Nate. She would deal with the fallout when it happens. Knowing Nate, this would blow over soon, and he would reconsider. She hoped to heaven it did. Softly, she sang, "Hush little baby, don't you cry…"

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

She watched her husband's golden head lower and his moist lips move near her best friend's ear, whispering something Blair knew he would not repeat to her that night in their bedroom. Serena threw back her head and gave a hearty laugh. Blair smiled. At least Nate still had a sense of humor.

Serena must have felt Blair's eyes on her, because the blonde turned and raised her glass towards Blair in greeting. At Blair's nod, Serena turned back to Nate and said something back that caused Nate to return the laughter.

"I'm disappointed," came a smooth voice in her ear. Blair relaxed pose immediately turned stiff. Of course. She was in the Palace. He was bound to show up. She'd been far too used to coming and going here while Chuck was away that she hadn't even put up her defenses. "You're using him as an excuse to not get back with me. You tell me it's because he loves you. Does that look like love?"

She watched Nate and Serena merely inches apart, grinning at each other, nodding to show they are following the other's narration. Serena reached up and placed a hand on Nate's shoulder, then slapped his chest playfully. Blair had watched the same scene play out in front of her a thousand times before, several times of which was before she married Nate Archibald. At the end of the night, Nate always came home with her. They had had three scandal-free, respectful years of marriage. She never heard a word of regret from Nate, not during the cold nights that they lay together sleepless, staring at the ceiling, not on the odd night when Blair frantically woke him up because she needed to run to the hospital with the baby, not even during the days when a stray text from Gossip Girl would arrive that showed Serena on a date with one man after the other.

"Looks a lot like love to me," she answered simply.

"Then you've grown into a ridiculous, pathetic excuse for a wife." He spat out the last word like it was a curse.

She didn't rise to the bait. Blair turned around to face him, and saw the extra flute on his hand. "Is that for me?" He handed the champagne to her silently. Blair took the drink and sipped. "Glad to see you made it."

"I wouldn't miss this wedding anniversary for all the hot women lining up for me in Monaco," he answered. "Where is the happy couple?" he asked, indicating that he had only just arrived, for which she was grateful.

At that moment, she heard Lily's giggle and Bart's deep laugh. Blair turned to see the older couple walking towards them.

"Lily, you look stunning," Chuck greeted. He turned to his father and said, "Dad."

Bart nodded in return. He then turned to Blair. "Sleeping peacefully, as always, Blair."

"Glad she didn't give you any trouble this time," was her response. She felt Chuck's inquiring look, and she understood it. Blair had once upon a time wondered why Bart so willingly took over the care of a child when his first try turned out to be so problematic.

"I'm concerned about something," Bart started. Before he could continue, Blair grabbed his arm tightly, slightly shaking his head. Bart nodded when he remembered his son's presence, and Blair's preference. "Why don't we discuss this in my office?"

Blair had been holding her breath from the time Bart had referred to her daughter. When he offered the privacy, she released a sigh. She made her way to Bart's home office.

Chuck followed the two with his eyes. When the door closed behind them, he frowned at his stepmother. "My father's taken an interest on the Archibalds," he commented, fishing for clues.

"Oh yes," Lily agreed eagerly. "He and Blair discuss things a lot, and it's always very urgent."

Chuck raised his eyebrows. "Don't tell me he's allowing Nate Archibald to move funds around for him."

"Oh no!" Lily exclaimed. "Not after what happened with the Captain. He's been doing a lot of business with Blair though."

"Fashion," Chuck emphasized wryly.

"I know it sounds ridiculous," Lily pointed out. "But I've seen the checks that he's signed to Blair." Lily waved it off. "Probably expanding his portfolio or something."

Chuck highly doubted that Eleanor or Blair needed Bart Bass' money as investment. Even more, he doubted that Bart would place a fortune on fashion lines. Still, there must be a good reason for Bart to be giving money to Blair, and for Blair to accept it.

Another thought occurred to him, which was what raised his suspicion in the first place. "Blair brings her daughter to parties like this?"

"Oh that." Lily shook her head. "She'd really rather not, but Bart likes to have the baby around. He's taken a real liking to her."

She was about to expound when the door to the office opened and both Bart and Blair walked out. Chuck noticed the way that Bart had squeezed Blair's shoulder, which was as affectionate he had ever seen Bart be with anyone apart from his stepmother. A movement in the periphery of his vision caught his attention. He watched Nate step away from Serena and walk towards the bathroom.

Chuck moved to follow him. He walked into the bathroom as Nate was washing his hands. They met each other's eyes in the mirror.

"Chuck, good to see you, man."

"I cannot believe you'd do this to her again," Chuck said softly.

"What are you talking about?" Nate turned around and learned against the sink.

Chuck stalked over to Nate until he was close enough that Nate could feel Chuck's harsh breathing. "I'm talking about your wife, Nathaniel. You're cheating on her. Again. With Serena. Again."

Nate placed a firm hand on Chuck's chest and pushed ever so slowly. "Oh no you don't." Chuck's eyes narrowed. "You don't get to talk to me about my wife, or Serena. Everything I've done for the past three years has been for Blair and for that baby."

"Isn't that convenient?" Chuck said. "You can claim you've been a saint since I left. That way I can't deny it because I wouldn't know better." He got up close to Nate, pushing him back against the sink. "Wasn't that just the perfect time, Nate? Well it's over. You're not going to treat Blair like crap anymore. I'm going to be watching every single thing you do from now on." Chuck turned his back on him and pushed through the bathroom door and to the dinner party.

Nate powered through the door and launched himself into Chuck's back. Chuck staggered forward. He bared his teeth and drew back his arm, then threw a punch at Nate. Nate fell down on his back. Blair watched the whole attack in horror. She ran towards the two, and saw the blood on her husband's nose. She knelt beside him and drew Nate's handkerchief out of his pants pocket. She started wiping Nate's nose with it.

Chuck grimaced at the sight and stalked towards the elevator. He got off the family suite, where he had to stay since his return the day before. He walked towards the bar and poured himself a scotch. After taking a gulp, he smashed the glass against the wall in frustration.

A door opened to reveal a familiar woman shaking her head at him. Chuck didn't even realize that there was a room there. "Who are you?" Chuck rasped.

"Lucy. The Archibalds' nanny. Please, sir, Mr Bass, keep it down. You're going to wake the baby."

Intrigued at the concept of the hidden room and his father's fascination with Blair Waldorf's daughter, Chuck walked towards the nanny. He pushed the door open and stepped into a pink and yellow pastel explosion. And there she was, sleeping quietly on the bed, the toddler that Blair had briefly allowed him to hold. Chuck stepped forward and took in the room. Obviously, Lottie was not a casual visitor in the Bass household. It wasn't a guestroom he had stumbled into. It was the baby's room. There were stuffed toys all around that Chuck knew for an absolute certainty was not his, Serena's or Eric's. The picture frames hanging from the wall showed Serena—obviously the godmother—playing with the baby. There were a couple of family photos 

of Blair, Nate and the baby. What struck Chuck the most was that one picture of Bart holding the child in his arms.

Chuck looked down at the baby again. He noticed the blue bear beside her pillow that stood out against the girly colors surrounding her. He picked it up and saw that it was hugging a pillow heart. On the heart were printed words. _Adopted by Charlotte._

"Charlotte," he said in a whisper, his heart thundering in his ears. "Lottie." His gaze again landed on the happy, grinning face of Bart Bass in the framed picture. And then the room made sense. Bart's easy laugh made sense. "When's her birthday?" was his soft question.

"December 23rd." The voice who answered him was not the nanny's as he had expected, but it was the voice that needed to answer much more than that simple question. He turned around and met Blair's teary eyes. "I'm so sorry," she choked out. "I didn't—"

Chuck closed his eyes, the confirmation washing over him until he felt like he was drowning. "You didn't want me to find out this way," he finished for her.

"No," she corrected him. "I didn't want you to find out at all." Blair stepped into the room and bent over the bed, collecting her daughter quietly, as unobtrusively as she could.

Nate stepped inside after her, collecting the bear and a milk bottle by the bed. Watching the easy manner that Nate enumerated to the nanny what items she had to ensure were in the baby's travel bag, Chuck despised him. Nate didn't deserve to be the one who needed a spit-up towel folded and placed on his shoulder. He didn't deserve to be the one who could recite from the top of his head how many spoons of formula was left in their carrier. The nanny hurried out with the bag. Nate stopped at the door, then said quietly, "It's not all that it seems, Chuck."

"Tell me then. Tell me how it is, Nathaniel."

"I want to."

And then he was gone; Chuck was alone.

He sat on the pink bed and looked down at the carpet. And then he was exhausted, he lay down on the bed which could only fit his upper body. Chuck threw his arm over his pulsing eyes. If Nate wanted to tell him, then there was only one reason why he would not. Blair.

"It's Charlotte Cornelia Archibald," he heard his father say. Chuck did not sit up or look at him. "I will have you know that I did everything in my power short of sending the lawyers after her to get her to use Bass in the birth certificate. And she told me that I'd just lost the entire purpose of her wedding."

When Chuck did not respond, Bart sighed.

"We tried to find you, Charles. We exhausted all possible means to track you down before she married Nate." Bart moistened his lips. "Your best friend stood up and took your responsibility like a man. He didn't deserve a sock in the eye. He's put his life on hold for Blair."

Chuck finally took away the arm cover his eyes and raised himself up on the bed by his elbows. His eyes fell on his father, who was now seated on a pale yellow beanbag. Bart Bass looked ridiculous, but he sat with such comfort that Chuck suspected he'd sat on that beanbag countless times before. "Blair Waldorf doesn't need a man."

"She was going to do everything in her power to keep you from finding out about Charlotte," Bart shared.

He curled his lips in hurt and disgust. "Why?" he demanded. "She afraid I'm going to ruin her precious marriage to Nate Archibald? Well she doesn't have to worry. Now all I want is my daughter." The term felt odd on his tongue. He had a daughter.

Bart stood and glared sharply at his son. "Leave that family alone, Charles."

Chuck smiled bitterly. "That family is mine," he reminded his father.

"Go back to Monaco; explore Egypt; run the hotels in Asia," Bart rattled off. "The world is yours, Charles."

"This is the only place I need to be." There was dead silence as Chuck met the challenge in his father's eyes. "I'm staying."

Bart nodded. "Then do something productive. The hotel has a blood drive tomorrow for the Red Cross. Get some sleep; don't drink; then donate."

In the Archibald towncar, Blair watched Nate speaking on his phone. New York City lights lit up his face, and Blair could read the hope that kept him holding his breath as he spoke softly on the phone. With Lottie asleep and heavy in her arms, she reached up a hand and held Nate's. When he felt her touch, he turned his gaze on her and smiled, then placed a kiss on her head.

Despite the tension that he saw in her face, she did not interrupt his call. They both knew the importance of this particular conversation, and Blair's heart thundered in her chest.

"Please do," he said into the phone. He placed the phone on mute, then updated his wife. "We're on hold. They said Lottie's name isn't there." Blair frowned. "I'm sure my aunt took care of it." When Blair looked doubtful, Nate placed a hand on her cheek. "I'm sure," he stressed.

"Of course," she answered, because Nate always did what he promised when it came to her daughter. "I hope Bart can get us that blood sample. If we get this, we're going to need it."

"It would be easier if we can just tell him. Then Bart doesn't have to go under the table for all this."

Blair frowned, and turned to Nate with plea in her eyes.

He sighed, because that was all he could do when she pleaded. "Yes, I'm still here," Nate answered into the phone. "You did? That's wonderful!"

He hung up the phone and looked down at Blair's smiling eyes. She tightened her arms around Lottie. "We got it?" she whispered, trying not to expect too much and be disappointed all over again.

Nate grinned. "We got it!"

"Oh my God! Nate," she exclaimed tearfully, "we got it."

Nate nodded, laughed happily, but softly so that Lottie would not wake up. He placed a kiss on Lottie's forehead and whispered, "We got it, baby girl." Then to Blair, he said, "We were due for a break sooner or later." Blair smiled and nodded. The hospital was funded seventy percent on Vanderbilt money, and that should have ensured them of a slot on any grant. But years of disappointment had crushed her hopes. This was a welcome respite from sleepless tearful nights. "Do me a favor."

And at this moment, she would have done anything for Nate Archibald, because he was the one who made this possible. "What is it?"

"Tell Chuck."

Blair pulled away from Nate. "We've been over this," she said wearily.

He closed his hand over hers. "We both know you're still in love with my best friend," he told his wife, but the gentle tone belied the meaning of his words.

"I don't want him getting close to my daughter."

"You call that love?"

Blair looked down at the beautiful little girl whose cheeks were a little too pale, whose lips a little too dry, and whose eyes a little too dark-rimmed. She remembered that little boy, once upon a time, who would not leave his mother side as she slowly diminished like a melting candle. It was a little boy who was devastated, agonized beyond words, all because he had adored his mother beyond reason.

She set her jaw and leaned back in the seat. Yes. She called this love.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thank you for reading and for the comments. I only had time to update this one during the weekend, but will try to update Second to None as soon as possible.

Part 3

"_It's time to let her go," Chuck heard the doctor tell his father in that voice they used when they did not want him to hear. Of course, Chuck heard every bit of it. They only ever made it more intriguing when their voices fell into a hushed whisper and they looked at Chuck from the corners of their eyes._

_Chuck grasped his mother's hand even tighter. His gaze fell on the thin skin on the back of her hand. He used to wonder about her skin, so very pale, with the blue veins that could be seen webbed just underneath. He saw it often when she patched him up. Chuck would come home from school with a scraped knee or cut arm, and his mother used to always fix him up. Because she loved him, she told him, she was going to fix him up always._

_His dad loved his mom. Chuck wanted to kick his father at the back of his knees because he only let the doctors try to fix his mom. And when they couldn't anymore, his dad just took her mom back home and the doctors had to stop trying to fix her so often. Now they only visited a few times, and they were useless. Chuck hated them. And he hated his dad because he didn't do what people who loved you had to do. He didn't fix his mom._

_And so every day, Chuck sat by mom's bedside, with his pockets stuffed full of antiseptic and bandages and every brand of cotton ball in the market that he ever remembered his mom use when Chuck was hurt. He was ashamed to admit defeat when he couldn't see anything that he could tape up on his mother's pale thin skin. If he couldn't see the wound, he couldn't fix the hurt._

"_Chuck, we missed you at school."_

_He did not need to turn around to know that it was Blair Waldorf hesitating at the door. Every day she stopped by after school, and every day she hesitated, as if she was not capable of learning that he would never wave her in. That split second that he would turn to look at her, his mother might decide to open her eyes, and he would have missed it. He smelled Blair's cologne as she sat in her usual space beside him, and Chuck was satisfied._

_Chuck's fingers moved over the skin on his mother's arm. He frowned, but did not talk. Blair watched his face intently as his eyebrows furrowed with each observation. Without another word, she slipped off the seat and walked over to the large imposing dresser at the corner of the room. Blair remembered sitting in front of that dresser just a year ago, when Chuck's mom had sat her on it and combed through her hair. She had told him then that she thought Blair was as pretty as a princess, and that she wished she'd had a daughter who would look as stunning as Blair. She remembered it so well, because it was that same day that she had thrown a fit in Chuck's house after Serena had won a role in the school play that Blair secretly wanted, all because of her golden hair. Blair couldn't be sure, but she thought she loved Chuck's mother _

_then. A little sadly, she opened the dresser drawer and pulled out a jar. She walked back to Chuck and handed it to him._

_He accepted it and twisted the cap, then placed it on his lap. He drew out a dollop of the cream and wiped it on his mother's hand. Blair took some of the cream and rubbed it on the arm._

"_I should've thought of this sooner," he muttered._

_Blair did not vocalize her agreement. .He was ready to talk now. There was absolutely no sense in interrupting._

"_She's dying, you know," he began. It was a statement, and she did not respond. Chuck closed his eyes and choked on tears. "I hear them talk. My nanny told the driver once that mom is so tired of being forced alive." His eyes opened, and they were agonized when they turned to Blair. "They said if she were strong enough she'd beg us herself to let her die." The words did not suit him. They were ill fit to come out of any nine year old's mouth. Chuck stood up abruptly and locked himself in the bathroom._

_Left in the room, seated by Chuck's mom, Blair stared at the closed door. She then bit her lip. In a low voice, she turned to Chuck's mom and said, "Mrs Bass, are you really tired?"_

_The face that used to smile at her was blank; the voice that used to tell her that she beautiful was absent. _

"_Can you wake up, Mrs Bass? For Chuck." _

_She heard the door open, and she looked up at the bathroom door. It was still closed. When she glanced up at the dresser she saw Bart Bass' reflection in the mirror, with the doctor standing close behind. Blair had never been in this situation, but somehow, her mind registered the sorrow in Bart's eyes, the defeated slump of his shoulders, the slight tremor in his voice when he greeted, "Hello, Blair."_

_The bathroom door opened, and Chuck stumbled outside. When he saw his father, he immediately wiped his face. His eyes were red, his nose runny. Blair looked up at Bart._

"_Chuck, take Blair downstairs and get something to eat."_

"_She's not hungry," Chuck challenged. He would not leave his mother's side to feed someone uninvited, even if it was already a ritual for Blair Waldorf and sometimes Nate to drop by after school._

_Blair walked up to Chuck and took his hand. "Come on, Chuck. Maybe just some juice." She pulled him towards the door. And then she stopped, because if she didn't, she was sure she was going to pay for that sin forever—even when they're like forty and old and gray. "Tell your mom bye."_

_Chuck sucked in his breath. There was something in her eyes. He then looked up at his dad, then the doctor, and knew. Unsteadily, he made his way to his mother's bed and leaned over to kiss her cheek, papery and delicate and he wondered if he still had time to get her facial moisturizer too. Instead, Chuck grasped his mother's hand in his and swallowed. He was brave, and proud, and he was not selfish, he told himself. "Sleep tight, mommy," he whispered. He burned her image in his mind, then turned around and walked to Blair. He took her hand in his and made their way out of the room._

"_I'm sorry," she said, as they made their way to the kitchen._

_She sat at the kitchen counter. Chuck opened the fridge and took a box of juice. He poured a glass and placed it in front of her. He pulled up a chair and sat in front of her._

"_I'm not dumb," he told her hoarsely. "This is okay," Chuck continued, convincing himself. "This is better than what we've been doing__."__And then like a torrent of rain, the tears dropped. "They don't understand," he shared, calmly. "My mom would've wanted to live. And they keep on pretending that this is for the best."_

"_It's been four months, Chuck," she reminded him, even though there wasn't any need to. _

_There was silence, and she watched his expressions. His face was a mask of sadness. And then, within a heartbeat, Chuck straightened, then looked up towards the stairs. He sucked in his breath. His eyes filled with tears. She didn't know how he knew. Maybe it was one of life's mysteries. She reached across the counter and held his hand. He slowly drew his hand away._

"_Leave me alone, Blair." _

She watched them fondly from behind her dark sunglasses as they briskly walked through the airport. Nate must have noticed her eyes on him, because he turned around with Charlotte in his arms and waved the little arms over at her. "Hurry up, mommy!" he called out.

She grimaced at the expression, because Nate found some enjoyment calling her mommy when they were in family outings, and she never felt comfortable when he did it within other people's earshot. But Nate believed that Charlotte had to hear the name used on Blair often, so that would always be how she referred to Blair.

They had waited for this day for so long that the bags had been packed and stored in the bottom of their closet, and within two hours of the hospital's go signal, they found themselves already driving to the airport.

"Ma." Charlotte reached out her arms towards Blair, in an obvious plea for her mother to take her. Without hesitation, she dropped her bag and took Charlotte in her arms.

"Check the plane?" Blair turned to Nate.

Nate nodded. The sudden flight schedule did not allow them to book anything commercial, and once again they turned to Bart who gladly lent them his plane after celebrating out loud at the news that Charlotte was granted the priceless slot that Blair had been praying for. Nate walked over towards the office where they were supposed to meet Bart's pilot.

Blair grinned at her baby girl, ecstatic about the fact that they were finally going. In a moment of glee, she raised Lottie as far up as her arms would extend and whirled. The moment she turned around, her eyes fell on the unexpected arrival. She stopped and lowered Lottie back down.

"That's not safe, you know," Chuck told her, his demeanor cool.

Blair moistened her suddenly dry lips. "What are you doing here?"

He smirked. "You didn't really think I'd go away after the bomb you dropped on me yesterday," was his response.

"That doesn't answer my question," she replied.

Chuck lifted up a blue cooler that she had not noticed he was clutching. "I assume my father's feeble little Red Cross lie was actually for you." Blair closed her eyes, knowing that there was no way to explain this away. "A pint of blood. How very Shakespearean of us. Why do you need my blood, Blair?"

A hand rested on Chuck's shoulder. Then he felt the cooler taken from his grip. Without turning around, Chuck said, "Nathaniel, maybe you'd care to share what your vicious, deceitful little wife is keeping from me." And then he looked at his best friend. His voice dropped to a whisper. "What's wrong with my baby, Nate?"

Blair threw a panicked, tearful look at her husband. Nate met it with a calming stare. Blair had lived with him long enough to know what he didn't verbalize. It was time.

"Do you have your passport with you?" Nate asked Chuck instead.

Chuck drew it out of his pocket and presented it to Nate. "The moment I found out where you were," he answered.

"Then come with us," Nate invited him. "You should be part of this."

Chuck nodded silently. He watched as the tears that she held fell over her cheeks. Blair walked ahead of them towards the tarmac.

When they were seated across from each other on the plane, with Nate sitting beside her holding Charlotte, Blair looked out the window, not meeting his eyes. Chuck's eyes drifted to his best friend as Nate spoke to Charlotte as if she were old enough to understand him.

"We're lifting off," Nate narrated. "And in a few hours we'll be in France, where we always wanted to take you." Chuck marveled at how the girl blinked up at Nate, so focused at the sound and the movement of his lips. Nate looked up at Chuck. "Do you want to take her?"

Blair straightened and turned to Nate. "Don't," she said quietly.

Chuck's jaw tightened. "Yes, Nathaniel, I want to hold my daughter."

Under the protesting glare of Blair, Chuck reached out and took the baby from Nate. He sat her down on his lap facing him. When he held her the first time, he had been so focused on convincing Blair to run away with him that he missed all of the little clues that looked right back at him. Charlotte had Blair's skin, her lovely little nose, the curly hair that was so dark that it stood in stark contrast to her skin. But those eyes, those lips. They were unmistakably his. She was a precious little combination of them and Chuck felt his heart melting.

"She's so beautiful," he said softly. And for that moment, he fell in love all over again with the woman in front of him, for bringing Lottie into the world. "I'm never leaving you," he told the baby.

Charlotte squirmed in his arms. Chuck gently maneuvered the baby and helped her find a comfortable spot. Finally, Charlotte laid her head on Chuck's chest, with her ear pressed over his heart, and let out a loud yawn.

"My God, I love her," he exclaimed in wonder.

Blair shook her head and gripped the armrest. Nate squeezed her hand. With a stubborn set of her jaw, Blair demanded, "Give me back my daughter."

"I'm bonding," he reasoned out.

"Give me back my baby, Chuck," she repeated, and this time, he heard the panic in her voice.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Chuck looked down at the baby, who seemed to have fallen asleep. Too often, he noticed. Too fast. "She's my daughter too."

Her face crumpled, and Chuck recognized that she was about to cry. They were in the air, and there was no escape this time. He wouldn't be able to run away to hide from the hurt that he felt whenever he made her cry. "I don't want you to think about her like that. She has a dad. It's Nate. And he's been the best dad ever."

Chuck nodded slowly. "You're going to use her against me because I left," he realized.

Blair latched on to that. "You don't deserve to be her dad. You left us."

Nate watched the two throw words at each other with his frustration mounting. "She's sick," he told Chuck. "But then again, you probably already have an idea—what with the blood and all."

In the back of his mind, he suspected, but hearing the words from Nate was different. His heart leapt to his throat. "Does she need surgery? A bone marrow transplant? Is that why you needed my blood—to check if I'm a match?" He frowned. "Take anything you need."

She shook her head. "I didn't want you to know, Chuck," Blair started, "because she doesn't need surgery. She's sick like your mom was sick. There's no surgery or transplant that can help her. No one knows how to fix her. You know what happened to you after your mom died. I'm not letting you go down that road again."

"You don't get to decide that for me," Chuck told her.

"We're on our way to France for an experimental treatment that my aunt funded. It's our last hope," Nate told him.

"I don't want you there," Blair added. She reached for his hand which rested on Charlotte's back. "Fly back after we land. We'll keep you constantly updated, Chuck."

"I'm staying."

"You've never heard her scream in pain with each type of treatment we've tried that failed. You've never watched her pass out when she's flushed with so much chemical and find out that it didn't make a difference. You've never held her while she cried so much she'd just fall asleep," Blair recounted.

"Because I never had the chance," he answered. "But I'm here now, Blair."

"You don't understand, do you?"

He shook his head. "I don't understand why you can't forgive me long enough to let me be here for Charlotte."

"That's not why she doesn't want you here, Chuck," Nate told him, speaking for Blair what he knew she wouldn't say out loud now. "My wife is in love with you." Chuck's eyebrows furrowed, considering how Nate could so admit it as simply as he did. "We spent so long looking for you, but when we found out that Lottie had the same illness that your mom had, we stopped. She wasn't going to let you go through losing someone you loved."

Blair turned her face away. "Leave before you're so involved that you can't," she advised.

"Too late," was his answer.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

She had waited for this day for far too long that Blair did not fully expect the utter dread that threatened to suffocate her. She woke up to find Nate already dressed, with his phone in his ear, looking at himself in the mirror as he prepared for another long day.

Blair sat up on the bed and watched her husband, happy to see that rare smile, eager to hear that laugh that she seldom heard. It meant one thing alone, and Blair nodded when he raised his eyebrows. She raised the blanket over her chest and reached out her hand for the phone.

"Hey S," she greeted. "Yeah. It's today. Thank you. I'll give you back to him." Blair handed the phone to Nate.

Nate smiled at her and turned his back on his wife as he began talking into the phone.

Blair sighed and padded out of bed. She walked over to the closet and pulled out one of her dresses. She glanced over at Nate, who was still whispering into the phone. Instead of asking him to leave, she grabbed his key card from her nightstand and put on her robe. Blair let herself out of her hotel room and crossed the corridor, then let herself into his.

When she exited the room, she saw Chuck holding Lottie waiting right outside. She frowned. "What are you doing with the Lottie, Chuck?" she asked, taking the baby from his arms.

"We were having breakfast," Chuck answered slowly, surprised at the question. "Were you supposed to be there? I distinctly remember picking up the baby from here." He pointed to the other room.

The door to her hotel room opened and Nate stepped outside, sliding his phone into his pocket. Blair opened her mouth to answer, but Nate handed her the key card instead. Blair met Chuck's eyes. Nate held out his hand. She slowly lifted his card and gave it to him.

"Separate rooms?" Chuck murmured when Nate let himself in.

"They're very small rooms with very small beds," she choked out.

He grinned. "I seem to remember being with you in places much more cramped than a twin bed, and it's never stopped us before."

Angrily, she narrowed her eyes. "Don't change the subject. Don't take Charlotte without my permission."

"I thought it was fine since your i_husband/i _handed her over. Now it looks like I have to reconsider exactly what kind of rights Nate has in this marriage."

She locked her jaw, then swallowed. "Lottie is going to have a long and hard day, Chuck. You can't just take her for a stroll, or for ice cream, or to play in the park. She's not like any other kid. She's not the kind of child you've always wanted."

Chuck sucked in his breath. "That's a low blow," he said in a quiet voice.

"Are you really going to tell me right now you're fine with a sick kid?"

i _Chuck strutted away from the bent over little boy. When he saw Blair Waldorf waiting at the sidelines of the court, glowering at him._

"_What?" he exclaimed. _

"_You kicked him!" _

_He grinned, then gave her back the plastic looping pencil that her father got her. "He's a bully. And he's weak. That sucks for him." _

"_Thank you. But you didn't have to hurt him."_

_He shrugged, then placed an arm around her shoulders. "Blair, listen to me," he told her sagely, as if he were a man who'd experienced a lifetime of experiences, instead of a little boy barely ten. "I read something in Britannica."_

"_You read Britannica?" she scoffed, mainly because she spent nights poring over books while her mom screamed at her dad and she was stuck in her playroom with Dorota._

"_Suffice it to say I learn a hell of a lot from encyclopedias that my father doesn't have time to explain to me." She glanced up at him curiously, but saw the playful wink he gave her, and she didn't bother to ask him to expound. "Anyway, this nerd Darwin said that the law of nature says the weaker of the species should just drop dead."_

_She rolled her eyes. "Darwin didn't say that exactly."_

"_That's what he meant."_

"_So," Blair said, "you're telling me that according to the Law of Evolution, you can bully a bully?"_

"_He bullied you because he thought he was stronger than you," Chuck told her. "And I'm stronger than him, so I can do the same thing to him. Lucky for you, you're with me."_

_She scowled. "I shudder to think what you'd do if he suddenly shows up with friends that are a lot bigger than you."_

"_Nobody's stronger than me," he claimed, with all the bravado only a nine year old could muster. _

"_He's got brothers; they're gonna beat you up," she warned. _

"_Nothing can hurt me. That's why my dad loves me. If I were a wimp like that kid, my dad wouldn't like me."_

"_You really believe that?"_

_He shrugged. "Dads like strong kids that aren't crybabies."/i_

He shook his head. "Don't take things out of context. And don't change the subject."

She took the baby with her into her hotel room and placed her down on the floor. Lottie held onto Blair's knees to steady herself, then bounced over to Chuck.

"Da, up!"

His lips curved, then looked up at Blair in wonder. "That's the third time she's said that this morning. I thought she was calling Nate earlier."

Blair shook her head. She wanted to so much to turn and watch Chuck pick up their daughter, but she averted her eyes the moment Lottie's dainty hands cupped Chuck's face. Blair picked yellow overalls from the bag and laid it out on the bed. "No," she replied softly. "She probably recognizes you from the pictures."

"Pictures," he repeated. Charlotte seemed to have taken an obsession with Chuck's face, and was now trying to touch his eyeball with her finger. "Baby girl, wait, no." Charlotte gave him a toothy grin.

"You didn't think I'd lie to a child, Chuck."

Chuck held Lottie at arm's length, then widened his eyes. "Try it now, kid. Poke my eye."

Blair gasped and stepped forward, afraid that he would drop their daughter. And that was when she really saw them together for the first time, in that face off, both with a stubborn look on their faces as Chuck lightly dared their daughter. She looked so much like Chuck did when he was younger, and Blair's heart sank. Lottie reached out her hand to try to reach Chuck's face. Chuck broke into a grin. "She's hardheaded." He turned to Blair. "Like you."

"No," she said, "like you."

Chuck nodded. He brought Charlotte back into his embrace. "Don't treat her like she's glass."

"But she is," Blair reminded him softly.

"Just treat her like she's a normal girl, Blair. Don't let her lose her childhood over some disease."

She walked over to father and daughter, then held out her arms. "Come on, baby." After Lottie went to her mother, Blair placed her on the bed and started changing her clothes. "We're on our way to the hospital, Chuck, where she's going to stay overnight for the first time. And it's going to be painful for her," she told him calmly. "If they find out that your blood has the strain that this project is targeting, then Nate and I are prepared to stay here for months until we complete a round of experimental treatment that we're not even sure would work." She looked at him. "She's not a normal girl, Chuck. Pretending she is won't fix her."

Chuck walked over towards his family and looked down at Charlotte watching them wide-eyed. "Have you ever taken her to Disneyland?"

"I spend my time on more useful things, like searching everywhere for any type of medicine or treatment that's going to make her better," she answered.

"Blair, you're losing out on the experience of having a two year old. It's the best excuse to go to Disneyland." He laid his hand on her nape. "You're stressed. You need to let other people take over once in a while."

"I can't expect Nate to do everything. He's already found us this," she told him. "He's running a company. He loves Lottie, but I'm her mother. And I don't trust any assistant to do something this important."

And he noticed the dark circles under eyes, the worry that constantly nagged her tight on her shoulders. Chuck let out a harsh breath, then pulled her into his embrace. She struggled at first, pushed at his chest, but he held tight. "Blair," he whispered into her ear, "I can't tell you how sorry I am that I wasn't here before this."

All these months Blair never thought for a single moment that she held this against him. But upon hearing the apology, she felt tears rise in her eyes. Blair tried to breathe but her chest was too tight. She opened her mouth to suck in some air and instead let out a sob. Blair gripped his arms tightly and sobbed into the crook of his neck. "I looked for you," she gasped. "I needed you."

"I know, Blair," he murmured. "I should've been here."

"I'm so scared," she cried. "I'm scared that Lottie's gonna die, Chuck. She's my baby girl."

Chuck closed his eyes and tightened his embrace on her, convinced that if he could wrap himself around her long enough, she would be protected from any hurt that would come her way in the future. "She's going to be fine, Blair. This treatment will work."

There was a loud rap on the door and it opened. Chuck looked up and saw Nate standing at the doorway. Blair saw her husband from his reflection in the mirror. She started to pull away from 

Chuck, and he allowed her this time. Nate's gaze fell to the bed, where Lottie was now sitting tracing the patterns on the comforter.

"She's dressed," Nate observed. "Let me take her to the car." He walked over to the bed and bent. "Come on, Lottie."

As Nate lifted the girl into his arms, Chuck grabbed his arm. "We need to talk."

Nate shook his head. "Not now, man. Later, we'll talk."

Blair turned to the table to grab her bag. She quickly walked towards the door to follow Nate.

"Blair!" Chuck called out.

She stopped at the doorway. She turned to Chuck, who stood there watching her. "Well? Let's go."

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

The moment that the doctors took Charlotte from Blair's arms and advised them to wait outside the sterile room, Chuck proceeded to one of the chairs in the waiting room. It had been more than an hour now, and Blair still paced the corridor waiting for word on her daughter. Nate was supposed to keep a cool head about it, but there he was, staring blankly at a white wall. They had been informed that it would take about three hours for the first phase of the treatment to be completed, and Chuck swore to himself that if both Blair and Nate were going to continue acting like this, he was the one who wasn't going to show just how terrified he was, how on edge, because out of the three of them, someone had to keep his wits about him.

And so instead Chuck swallowed the nerves and stood up, then went over to the vending machine and bought two cups of coffee. He walked back to the waiting area and offered one to Nate.

Nate blinked up at him blearily. It took a full ten seconds for his best friend to register his presence, and what Chuck was doing. Nate took the cup gratefully from Chuck, then stood, "Blair needs one."

Chuck placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him seated. "I've got it."

Nate nodded and stared down at the black liquid as Chuck walked towards his wife. Blair turned around, with her hand holding a handkerchief to her mouth. Chuck gave her the cup of steaming brew. She reached for it, her hand trembling the entire time. Chuck shook his head, then closed his hand over her arm. He helped her into a seat, then placed the coffee on the table in front of her. "It's hot," Chuck cautioned her. "Don't pick it up until you've calmed down."

Despite her nerves, Blair found humor in the statement. "Calm down, then take caffeine. Brilliant solution, Bass."

And the mildly insulting comment assured him that she wasn't going to get lost inside her own head. Chuck smirked at that and without any forethought, he leaned and placed a kiss to her forehead. "She's going to do great. She's yours and mine. No need to worry."

She closed her eyes, and he could see her lashes tremble and knew she was not as collected as he thought. Blair's hand drifted up, to cup his cheek, and he knew the only reason for her to do it was if it wasn't her rational mind ruling her actions. "She's all I have now."

Chuck smiled and covered her hand with his. The statement spoke volumes about her life. He knew the answers were waiting for him, just waiting, and he would find them with Nate.

He had spent most of the hour watching the husband and wife interact during the short periods that Nate snapped out of his haze and he went over to Blair. When he came back and found Blair and Nate married with a child, he had willed himself not to dwell on thoughts of what married life must be for them. Now, after that uncomfortable moment in the hotel corridor, he could not help but find himself zoning in on Blair and Nate when they were within six feet of each other.

Chuck Bass had been all over Blair Waldorf since he was seventeen years old. Every time he was with her, it was combustible. Even at twenty five, each time they brushed against each other, Chuck knew the tension between them was so palpable he was afraid one or both of them would end up suffocating.

Now here he witnessed Nate and Blair easily interacting with each other, matter-of-fact, sensitive to the other person's needs. He would call it a mature relationship if he did not know Blair in love. He looked into her brown eyes and saw her there, like she was before, as she looked back up at him. She wasn't gone; she was right there, waiting for who knew what.

He felt Nate's hand on his shoulder even before he saw his reflection in the depths of Blair's eyes. Chuck reluctantly straightened, and Blair's hand fell away from his cheek. He turned around to face Nate, now not afraid or guilty of how the scene must have looked to him. Nate jerked his head towards the corridor, and Chuck nodded.

Nate walked away.

"Looks like he wants to talk now," he told Blair.

"Chuck," Blair started, biting her lower lip, "you have to be patient with him, okay? He's—amazing. He loves Lottie."

Chuck shook his head. "You don't have to say any of that. I'd be the last person to give Nate a hard time over being here for my family when I wasn't." She nodded. "But don't be mistaken, Blair. If it comes to it, I will do everything in my power to get you and Lottie back."

"I made a commitment to Nate, Chuck," she responded firmly. "I'm not backing out of it."

He turned his back on her and followed Nate. The corridor wasn't long, and he emerged at the exit leading to the smoking area.

"I was waiting for you," Nate said.

Nate was leaning against a wall, with a cigarette between his fingers. Noticing that it was not lit, Chuck fished a lighter from his pocket and offered it to Nate. Nate waved it away and showed him his own lighter, which he held in his hands.

"Then why aren't you smoking?" was his first question. Chuck lit up his own cigarette and drew in a long drag.

Nate turned his head to face Chuck, but did not move from his comfortable position. His lips curved sadly. "When you're living with a sick child, you learn quickly to drop the bad habits. I never knew I had enough willpower to quit smoking cold turkey." He lifted the stick to his nose and inhaled. "But sometimes I find the smell comforting. I like knowing I can smoke if I want to."

Chuck shook his head, then tossed the barely used cigarette on the ground. He stomped on it to put it out. "You love them."

"That's not a question."

"Of course not. You wouldn't have stayed if you didn't."

Nate chuckled bitterly. "Everyone's made me out to be some grand hero."

"Aren't you?" Chuck noted the flicker in his eyes. "Because from where I'm standing, you're the hero and I'm the guy who abandoned her."

"I've been waiting for you to get back for three years, Chuck."

"_Will you do it, Nate? I'll love you forever," she promised._

_Nate buried his face in her ear and took a deep breath. Chuck was bound to show up soon. He would never abandon Blair like this, without a word, without a note. Chuck couldn't—not after getting Blair Waldorf to break her engagement on her wedding day. _

_She pulled away from him suddenly and ran towards the bathroom. He heard the dry heaving from the bedroom. _

_Nate had never once before delighted in seeing anyone so anguished, but seeing Blair Waldorf kneeling in front of the toilet, sick, in tears, he felt a sick satisfaction settle in his stomach. He wondered if it made him evil, the fact that he now relished, just a little, that she was so desperate that she could come to him, plead with him to marry her so soon after she made him the laughingstock of the upper crust New York society by dumping him right before their wedding._

_He handed her a glass of water, and helped her back up to her feet and towards the sink so she could rinse her mouth._

"_I know I don't have the right to ask for your help, Nate."_

"_No, you don't," he agreed with her firmly._

"_I'll make it worth it," she offered, desperate. Blair took a deep breath. "I know your situation, Nate. I'll give you full access to everything."_

_And he had to admit, it was tempting. With the Waldorf money backing him up, no one would have to think twice before allowing him to run their investments. His father may have ruined their family's reputation, but not even Captain Archibald's fall could dent the stalwart stability of the Waldorf name._

_He moistened his lips. "You broke my heart," he rasped. Blair nodded. Tonight, of all nights, she wouldn't disagree with Nate. "You humiliated me."_

"_I did," she sniffled. "And I'm sorry."_

_Nate gave a cold laugh. "Would you have been sorry if he hadn't knocked you up and you had to come running to me?"By then she had been crying so hard that when she shook her head, teardrops fell in a crazy pattern on the marble sink. "Do you know how great it is to know that?" _

_Blair blinked up at him, unable to comprehend. "I mean you win. I'll marry you."_

_She released the breath she had been holding, and she clasped her hands in front of her. She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his hand to stop her._

"_I'm marrying you because you need me to," he clarified. "And because I need to marry you to have some semblance of normalcy in my life, so I can have a career that's not hounded by my father's mistakes."_

"_That's fine," she breathed._

"_I want to clarify this, Blair," Nate warned her. "I'm under no obligation to you, or to this baby. I don't have to remain faithful. I don't have to be a father."_

_One hand tentatively covered her belly, and Nate's gaze followed the movement. He forced himself to meet Blair's eyes. "Agreed," she whispered._

"That's a far cry from the person I'm standing with now," Chuck managed.

"Is it?" Nate asked, his brow furrowed. "I've been having an affair with your stepsister for most of my married life."

"Does Blair know?"

Nate shook his head, because it's what he wanted to believe. "Everything was working so well until Charlotte came," he confessed to his best friend. "That was when my plans were shot."

_Nate arrived in Blair's hospital room five hours after his assistant informed him that Serena van der Woodsen called to say that his wife had given birth. Nate half expected to see Blair still asleep when he stepped inside. Instead, he found Blair shivering in bed. Nate's eyes flew to Serena, who turned away the moment she read his eyes. Serena rushed over to the bag and drew out the blanket that she had packed for Blair. With awkward movements, she wrapped the blanket tightly around her best friend._

_Blair was crying now, sniffling into the handkerchief that Nate had handed to her. He walked over to the windows and parted the curtains._

_When he turned back, he saw his wife watching him with a plea. "Nate, I want to see my baby."_

_He frowned, wondering why she had to ask him that. The baby was born five hours ago, through normal delivery, and she was full term. There was no reason for Blair not to have held the child from birth. He turned to Serena, who motioned to him not to say anything._

"_I'll check with the doctors," he promised._

_Nate stepped outside and found himself face to face with Blair's doctor, whom he almost did not recognize. Through the pregnancy, he had only been to two of Blair's appointments. _

"_Mr Archibald, we're here to talk about Charlotte."_

_Charlotte. She just had to go with a name that was going to raise eyebrows. Nate registered then that there was another man behind the OB. The man introduced himself as Charlotte's pediatrician. How quickly they worked._

_By the time the conversation ended, Nate's heart was heavy. He walked back inside the room and saw his wife, small and vulnerable. He used to love her once upon a time. When she turned to him and he saw the look on her face, he knew that they were not going to step outside the hospital the same people they were when they stepped in._

_The nurse then wheeled Charlotte into the room. Blair smiled gratefully at her husband, then reached towards the baby bed to pick her up. She did not expect Nate to very gently reach for the infant himself. He gingerly laid the baby in her arms. _

"_She's so beautiful," Serena whispered at the sight of the little girl with pale skin and a shock of dark hair._

_Nate looked up at her, and for the first time in his life he thought she paled in comparison to the sight of Blair Waldorf. His wife, disheveled, exhausted, with rims under her eyes and her lips cracked and dry, parted her dress to reveal a heavy breast. He immediately stood up and asked, "Can we have some privacy?" His voice dropped. "I booked the usual room."_

"_Of course," Serena stammered, and she backed out of the room._

_He sat back down beside Blair's bed, then watched as the baby latched on to her nipple. Blair gasped as the baby sucked. She laughed lightly and winced. "She's so strong," she marveled._

_Nate closed his eyes, unwilling to tell her what he had learned about his wife's daughter, knowing that he was going to have to be the one to tell her, be the one to break Blair's heart so much worse than anyone had ever done before. His eyes opened and he was enraptured by the small fist laying against Blair's breast, as Charlotte fed as hard and as wonderfully as any healthy baby._

_When Charlotte finished, Blair laid her gently on her shoulder and patted her back. "Dorota told me I have to do this every time she eats," she told Nate. "Thank you for coming. You didn't have to drive all the way down here."_

_The doctor's words clung to him still, like stink that couldn't be washed off so easily. He did not know how to tell her, how to break it to her, when she looked so beautiful holding the baby who looked so much like his best friend. Instead of beginning with the bad, Nate leaned down and captured her lips with his own, surprising her. With a look of shock on her face, Blair looked up at her husband. _

"_I'm committed," Nate told her._

_Blair frowned. "What do you mean, Nate?"_

"_I've changed my mind," he told her. "I'm committed to this marriage, Blair. I'm going to be a father to Charlotte."_

_Tears rose in her eyes. "Nate, you're not in love with me."_

_Defeated, he sank into the chair beside her bed. "I need to tell you something. Before I do, I need you to know that it will not change anything. I will be here for you, and I will fight this with you."_

_Her hold on her baby tightened. Nate, you're scaring me."_

"Fuck!" N ate groaned. "I need to smoke." Despite the words, he did not reach for another stick. He sighed. "I'm not a hero. I married her because of her money and her name. After everything, I did the exact same thing my parents wanted me to do since we were sixteen years old."

Chuck shook his head, because to him, his best friend would forever be the man who stayed and took care of his sick child, who used his name and influence to get her to the trial run treatment that no one else could get them access to. He stepped close to Nate, so close that when he leaned, their foreheads touched. He gripped Nate's shoulder with his hand, and with his other hand, he patted his cheek. "I can't ever pay you back enough for taking care of Blair and Lottie," he said softly.

"I love Charlotte like she was my own daughter," Nate told his best friend. "I know you want them back, Chuck. I've known this day was going to come the moment we told your father about Lottie. You're not going to run me out of her life."

Chuck smiled. "I wouldn't dream of it."

The two parted, and Chuck pushed the door open, intending to go back to the waiting area. He had left Blair alone for long enough. Everything else they would settle later on. For now, they had a tentative understanding.

Blair was not in the waiting room when he got back. Chuck walked over to the nurse's station and was informed that Charlotte had been transferred to her room. He strode over to the designated room and pushed inside. There he found Blair sitting on a rocking chair with the toddler sleeping in her arms. She looked out the window as she rocked the baby.

She looked up at him, then stood to lay the little girl on the bed. Before she could reach for the blanket, Chuck had done so and he tucked the blanket around the baby.

"She's exhausted," she told him.

"What did they find?"

Blair massaged her temples. "Having your blood tested helped a lot. They confirmed the strain. It's positive for this trial. We finally have treatment, but it will take months and it will be painful."

He reached for her hand, then drew her into his embrace. Chuck pressed a kiss on her forehead. "We have treatment. Focus on that."

"Chuck, I don't want you here."

"You're not getting rid of me."

She shook her head, wanting to pull away, but relishing the feeling of being in his arms again that she just couldn't. "Chuck, it will be long and painful for her. I don't want you to go through this. I've seen you go through this before. It almost killed you."

"Hey." He tipped her face up so she would look him in the eye. "I'm Chuck Bass. I was a child when I went through this the first time. This is my daughter we're talking about. I'm staying with you. I'm staying with her."

"Nate can stay," she told him, knowing full well how selfish she sounded. When it became too hard, she could send Nate back to the States.

"I think it's time to give Nate back his life." He took her hand in his. "And we can continue ours."

"You've never heard her cry in pain when they inject her," came a voice from the door. Blair and Chuck saw Nate leaning against the frame. Nate continued, "You've never seen her arms full of track marks. You've never stayed up the entire night just watching her breathe because you're afraid one second you're not paying attention, she'd just stop." He shook his head and stared at Chuck. "You don't know what you're signing up for. I'm not going to leave them with you until I know you're not going to run away when it gets to be too much for you."

"I can't change the past. I can't go back and be here for all of that," Chuck responded. "But this is my family, Nate. I'll stay."

Nate walked into the room and leaned over Charlotte's bed. He kissed the baby's cheek. He turned to Blair. "Divorce papers will be in the mail." He smiled down at her. "It's been an experience, Blair. Keep me posted on Lottie? I would've stayed, but I think Chuck needs time with you two without me hanging around."

She smiled sadly up at him. "I know I've put so much on your shoulders—"

"I wouldn't trade it for the world. I got a beautiful baby girl out of it," he told her. Nate bent and hugged her. "I loved every minute of it. I'm glad you proposed," he teased, referring to the night she had begged and pleaded and they struck the bargain that started it. "But Chuck deserves the chance to prove he can be a dad. You deserve to be happy."

"Serena deserves to be made into an honest woman," Blair finished for him.

He was not surprised that she knew. Nate nodded. "She does. She waited." He looked at Chuck, who nodded. "Take care of my family."

tbc


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

Six Months Later

Her lips were dry again. Blair unclasped the latch on her bag and drew out her lip balm, then swiped it on her lips. She glanced up at the clock and noted the long hand moving to the next short line at the edge of the circle. Blair craned her neck to see through the glass doorway and saw the doctor walking towards the office. She involuntarily sucked in her breath.

"Chuck," she whispered nervously.

Beside her, sitting ramrod straight in his chair, Chuck reached for her hand and squeezed it in reassurance. He smiled down at her, but Blair could see the edges of his lips tensed. "It's all going to be alright. You'll see."

"You look worse than I do," she teased lightly, her tremulous voice belying the words.

Chuck kissed her nose and replied, "Nobody looks worse than you do right now."

"Thanks," she muttered.

"Don't be nervous. Charlotte's got a great chance of getting over this."

She nodded. The doctor stepped into the office with a brown folder in his hands. At the sight of Blair clutching Chuck's hand looking up apprehensively at the doctor, the older woman smiled. At the sight of the curved lips, Blair exhaled violently. "Really?" she gasped. When the doctor's smile did not falter, Blair blinked rapidly as tears blurred her vision. "Oh my God!" she exclaimed.

"Blair, she hasn't said anything yet," Chuck cautioned, afraid to hope, terrified that Blair had jumped to a wonderful conclusion that wasn't correct.

But Blair had snatched her hand from his and covered her face, succumbing to the sobs that she had been holding in her chest since the call she received that morning telling her that Charlotte's test results were released.

He looked at the doctor, who now took out sheets of paper from the envelope. Chuck shook his head. "Is it—"

"It's clean, Mr Bass." His breath caught in his throat. He could not respond. "Lottie's bloodwork shows no traces of the disease."

"Are you serious?" Chuck's fingers rose to his temples.

"I'm very serious, Mr Bass." She handed him the white sheet of typewritten paper. Her signature at the bottom was done with such flourish, he thought. Then again, these words deserved 

flourish. Charlotte was clean, he read. "You can take her home now. But you do have to bring her back every six months for a full workup. I know it's expensive—"

"Not an issue," was his quick answer. He felt like he was floating in a dreamlike state. Chuck glanced at Blair, who now watched him wide-eyed as he spoke to the doctor.

"And it would interfere with having a normal life for Charlotte, being carted to another country every time. But if the disease does return, we need to catch it immediately."

"I understand," he replied, his voice strangled.

The doctor walked around her desk and went to Blair, whom she had met long ago with Nate Archibald. She leaned down and said, "You did a wonderful job through all this. I'm happy for you."

Blair sobbed and stood up, throwing her arms around the older woman who had taken care of her daughter through the last half year. "Thank you so much. I can't ever repay you."

The doctor patted Blair's back, then pulled away. "Let me go ask the nurse to bring Charlotte in. I'm sure you're excited to take her home."

Blair nodded. When the door closed behind the doctor, she turned to the now empty seat where Chuck had been sitting. Blair turned around to search for Chuck, only to find him leaning heavily forward by the window, his hands gripping the metal railing. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his back. She felt his body move under her palm as he breathed deeply, in and out.

"She's going to be okay," she said. "She's really going to be fine."

It was the last ray of hope that she needed to get the courage to take the folded up papers inside her bag. Blair pushed her hair back behind her ear, then handed the papers to Chuck. He slowly turned his head and saw the papers that she offered to him.

He slowly reached out and took the papers in his hands. He unfolded them and read the title, then skimmed through every last sheet to see her name signed at the bottom. "Divorce papers," he recognized.

Blair nodded. "I'd been waiting for this. I didn't want to tie you down in case she didn't make it," she confessed.

He folded up the papers again, then waved them. "This is it."

She nodded. "File them."

"Great," he whispered.

The door opened to Alicia, Charlotte's personal nurse, and the little girl herself. "Ma!" the girl squealed excitedly. "Da!" Alicia set Lottie down on the floor, and the little girl scampered over towards them. She latched on to Chuck's leg and wrapped her arms around it.

Chuck picked her up. "Perfect timing," he said to Alicia. "Will you give us a moment?" Alicia nodded and smiled before leaving the room. When they were alone, Chuck grinned at his healthy daughter. "Lottie, tell mommy to marry daddy."

Blair's gaze slammed into Chuck over Lottie's head. "What?"

"Don't tell me this comes as a surprise," he commented. "You know I've been in love with you for years. Even before you married Nate."

Blair flushed. "But you've always asked me to run away with you. Marriage wasn't ever on the table."

"It is now." With one hand, he balanced Charlotte against his chest and with the other he drew out a small box from inside his pocket. He flipped the top open and presented it to Blair. His eyes fell on the ring on her finger. "It's not the Vanderbilt diamond. It doesn't have a long history of different brides and different proposals from different men," he told her.

Blair slid the ring off her finger. "That's a relief. I want something that's all mine." She took out the ring Chuck offered her and replaced it with the Vanderbilt diamond, then closed the box and placed it in her bag. "Let's take this one to Serena when we bring the divorce papers over." Blair handed Chuck the ring and presented her hand. The ring easily slid onto her finger.

"Is that a yes?" Chuck asked.

"Yes!" Charlotte chimed in.

"Yes," Blair laughingly answered.

"Yes!" Chuck exclaimed.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes!" the baby sang.

The door opened and Alicia peeked into the room. "The discharge papers are ready, Mrs Archibald."

"Alicia," Chuck's voice rumbled, "practice calling her Mrs Bass." He kept a straight face on even when Charlotte started trying to touch his eyeball again. "Lottie, stop," he groaned.

The young woman's gaze went to Blair. Blair smiled and nodded. "You heard what the man said."

fin


End file.
